


Heart in Atrophy

by roseyspectre



Category: The Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M, Yearning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 16:57:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21274598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseyspectre/pseuds/roseyspectre
Summary: At the close of the night... they would kiss.





	Heart in Atrophy

Gabriel sat on the balcony, taking up the space left behind by a couple seeking to avoid the rain. He found the cool air sobering after a long night of drinking and dancing. His father’s parties were exhausting, and he found the majority of guests to be unsavory. They invited only the wealthiest and best connected members of the London downworld community, which made each and every guest absolutely insufferable. He craved a quieter gathering, reminiscent of his childhood visits to the London institute for enclave meetings and holidays. Not that William was much better, but he was often reigned in with a look or quiet word from James.

James, with his easy demeanor and playful way of speaking. It was certainly him that Gabriel remembered fondly from each of those trips. He wasn’t oblivious to the dirty looks and backhanded compliments he received from the Institute residents, but it was hard to believe James could be insincere (even if he always took Will’s side).

The music indoors changed, and he remembered an offhand comment made about William not putting himself to good use. They were 14, and the adults were still urging James to reconsider his decision to become William’s parabatai. He was feeling well that Christmas, and so the adults encouraged him to play violin for them. James seemed happy to comply, flashing an easy smile before bemoaning the lack of a partner. Gabriel almost volunteered, despite not really knowing how to play. The mischievous look James shot Will dissuaded him. He took note of it anyway. Was that something James wanted? He saw it as an opening, a way to worm himself into James’ heart. After the parabatai ceremony, however, it... seemed out of place. James had his partner.

The following Christmas, James handed William his present with a complaint he shared with Charlotte. Half the books on the shelves were Will’s, he bemoaned, and there wasn’t a single one whose contents he did not torment them with. The conversation followed James’ own literary interest, which gave Gabriel a list of books to devour. He read several in preparation for the new year’s festivities, and even had the nerve to bring them up to James after sneaking himself a cup of wine. William had become intoxicated long before that point, and was thereon attached to James at the hip. He tormented Gabriel until James needed to take his leave from the activities. It was humiliating, to say the least, and fueled his resentment for Will.

It was baffling. James obviously adored him. No matter how poorly Will behaved he would always be the object of James’ affections. It had to be tiring, he couldn’t imagine himself as anything but sickened by William’s antics after 5 years, yet James’ warm gaze never let up. He desperately wanted to be on the receiving end, but any attempts to befriend James ended in flames. The hostility surrounding them never ceased, and always ruined his plans.

Gabriel didn’t pity himself, though. He directed that toward James. Poor James, stuck with Will. Poor James, under the misdirection of Charlotte. Poor James, unable to make a suitable friend after the horrific circumstances of his parents’ death. Poor James, living half a life toward an inevitable early death. He was a great man, even stifled by circumstance. 

In an ideal world, they would be friends. Gabriel would have snuck away from the party, and the two would have met in the garden. They would dance to the music that poured from the windows, and Gabriel would see the moonlight reflected in his deep, brown eyes. They would tire after a few songs, then sit among the flowers and talk. James would compliment them, and in turn commend Gabriel for the hours he labored in the garden. Gabriel would tease him, and James would laugh. At the close of the night, when James would have to leave and Gabriel return to the party, they would… they would kiss. James’ cold hands would hold Gabriel’s face, he would tenderly stroke Gabriel’s cheeks with his thumbs. He would pull Gabriel close until the very last second, and when he was done Gabriel would pull him back in for a second kiss. And a third. Perhaps a fourth, if he might be so lucky. His hands would hold James’ hips, and they would be separated only by a hair...

The light rain became heavier as a small mercy. The chill pulled him from his thoughts, for which he was grateful as he sought shelter. The party drawled on, and he desperately turned his thoughts to the real future ahead of him.

**Author's Note:**

> It is only natural for me to have done this as I am.... home of sexual. And I think they would have had rly good chemistry. Use this 10th anniversary time to expand your horizons.


End file.
